The Conundrum of Communal Identity

If a tree falls in a forest, and no one’s there to hear it—is it really a tree? The real lightbulb question is supposed to be, “does it make a sound?” But when it comes to our identity, we have an even more existential conundrum than the tree.

If you were to live your whole life without seeing another person, would you have an identity? The Bible teaches you would have personhood as someone who was created in the image of God, but the identity question remains. Whenever sociologists have experimented with keeping people or animals alone, it doesn’t go well.

Identity is your sense of self that connects who you are as a product of your past with who you wish to be in the future. But it turns out your understanding of both of those pictures depend on comparisons and feedback from community.

Walter Wangerin sums it up perfectly:

“Identity is discovered in relationship. Simply, as other people look at me, acknowledge me, make space for me in their days and their lives, I am persuaded that I am. I have existence. I become conscious of my self. But among others and against them, I become conscious of my self’s limits as well, my boundaries and my shape: I learn my definition. How other people look at me communicates what I am—not only what worth I have, but also what characteristics I truly possess.” ^[1]

The conundrum of identity formation today is that we want to shape our own identity, free from interference. But then you cannot develop any solid identity without seeing how others respond to what you present. There’s no such thing as self-created identity.

Read my article in TGC about why church community is the solution we need to this identity conundrum.

[1] Walter Wangerin, As for Me and My House: Crafting Your Marriage to Last (Thomas Nelson, 1987), p. 130.