Every time I sit down to write, the imposter syndrome strikes within the first few minutes. I stare at the screen and think, I have no idea what I’m doing. I have nothing to say. This is boring garbage. I guess I’ll sit here and pretend until enough words show up. But as soon as someone reads this, they’ll call me out.
From what I’ve heard, this is fairly universal for writers. Does getting paid fix it? No. Is it because it’s an art thing? No—doctors, engineers, and C-suite executives feel it, as do most moms and dads. Truth is, everyone has this feeling—that you’re making it up as you go, and wish you could be a bit more confident how it was going to turn out. It’s like you’re a double agent—now you’ve faked your way in, and your life depends on never getting caught.
This feeling of out-of-placeness, of play-acting, is not necessarily good (that depends on the role you’re playing), but it’s always necessary. It indicates that you are stretching and growing. The moral quality of that growth depends on what you’re trying to grow into, but you should at least put aside any notion that the imposter syndrome itself is a bad thing.
A child learning to ride a bike for the first time must feel the imposter syndrome. There’s no other way. She wobbles and topples and feels generally overwhelmed. She looks around at older kids who have already learned to ride a bike. She certainly doesn’t look like them. She’s an imposter; she’s “faking it” as a bike-rider. Who cares? Any wise adult will admire her fortitude in facing the challenge. In the end, when she’s coasting down a hill, it’ll be because she faked it with fortitude for long enough.
When Does the Syndrome Go Away?
The more complex and subjective a task is, the longer imposter syndrome will persist. For example, I have yet to meet someone who furtively scarfs down a sandwich because he’s worried other people will catch on that he doesn’t know how to do it. Maybe that’s because he’s so secretive. More likely it’s because eating a sandwich is a fairly simple task with a straightforward measure of accomplishment—did it end in your stomach?
If someone aspires to be a master chef, however, the imposter syndrome may never vanish. Or in the example of bike-riding, the imposter syndrome will go away if your goal is to be able to trek a couple miles on some park trails. You’ll be unlikely to shake it, however, if your goal is to be an Olympic medalist.
This means that a nagging imposter syndrome may indicate hyperactive self-criticism, but it always indicates a challenging and complex goal that’s often worth pursuing. If anyone ever “made it” in the Christian life, it was the apostle Paul. But listen to how he views himself: “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own…Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:11-14).
Paul still felt like an imposter Christian. He hadn’t attained what he was after. There was a fuller, greater, and deeper relationship with Jesus that he was after.[1] If you want to reach the highest goal in the world—a life fully committed to God—you will always be “faking it” in the sense of trying to live into something that doesn’t feel natural. Something only feels natural once you’ve been doing it for a while, which means it’s no longer a goal.
The key to overcoming the imposter syndrome is embracing the feeling itself as a good thing. You’re learning; you’re growing. It’s easy to chase wonderfully nebulous goals like significance or impact, always wondering when you’ll arrive, growing frustrated that feeling never comes. You will find rest as you learn to enjoy the feeling of imposter syndrome as a sign that you are, like Paul, a work in progress.
[1] Paul writes later in the same letter that he wanted “to know Christ”
Feel like you’re missing out on your best self? Here’s why that might not be true.
It was a busy week for other content I’ve done coming out:
Check out my article with ByFaith about the power and the hope of resurrection seen in The Lamb, Standing as though Slain.
Here’s an excerpt:
You wake up with an injury you did not have when you went to sleep. Something slips while doing a chore. Something tweaks during an exercise. Your skin flabs and wrinkles. Death pokes his head in the door: “Just checking in. Wanted to see if you needed me yet? I’ll stop by more often next year, I promise.”
MereOrthodoxy published my article on discerning the difference between biblical mediation and Buddhist meditation.
Here’s an excerpt:
“What has changed is that the devices we now use constantly nudge us toward that listless dissatisfaction. What has endless scrolling done to us, if not numbed our tolerance for boredom? You feel ennui sitting at a desk, standing in line, even using the bathroom. As passive entertainment streams have multiplied, our acceptance of the ordinary has plummeted.”
I also had two podcast interviews with Pilgrim Radio:
Here is my interview on Living Well by Embracing Quiddity
Here is my interview on Rooting Our Identity in Christ
I view my writing on this blog as a ministry, therefore my aim is to always offer it for free. If you feel you have been served well through this ministry, would you consider making a recurring or one-time donation?
