I don’t recall ever making a conscious decision to like the color blue. It came to me, along with roughly one third of humanity.[1] It’s what I call an identity given. This strong color preference led to other consequences. It was the basis for choosing my favorite team, the Cowboys, (which has led to many other painful consequences). It’s also shaped my wardrobe. Most days, I’m wearing something blue.
But what if I doubled down? What if I locked into a career with Ford or the Airforce, two of the bluest logos around. I could have insisted on a blue house above all other factors. Could I still tattoo all my skin blue? What if I founded the first Church of Blue—we love Jesus and each other… as long as you wear blue. Absurd, but we all experience a smaller scale version of this identity dilemma—how much leash do I give my givens?
Most of your life is a “given,” but not all givens are created equal. One given might be you’re your family is part Polish. Great, embrace that. Learn about that. But should “being Polish” be the bold-line boundary of your social circle? You would deprive yourself of many rich and meaningful relationships, and maybe worse. Sorting identity givens is a high-stakes, delicate matter.
An ethnic identity-sorting error has been the flaw in many destructive, racist philosophies throughout history, and continues today. Proponents of these ideas begin with truth—observing valid experiential or cultural differences among ethnic groups. The problem is, they inject that difference with steroids. They teach fully-formed human beings with complex and intricate identities to see themselves mainly as ethnicity. Like building a pyramid of empty boxes, if you overload any one identity given, it squashes that box and the whole structure topples.
We want people to be authentic, but that word only gets you so far. Take a young boy whose father taught him to hit anyone he thought put him down. That boy will feel a deep, authentic desire for violence, but that’s a given he needs to reject. We all must sort the givens of our life—accepting some, running from others, elevating or burying. These sorting decisions that you make every day are your pursuit of the authentic self you believe is best.
There’s no such thing as subjective, morally neutral authenticity. Who cares if one person relies on her heart to do the sorting, and the other prefers the Memoirs of Gengis Khan? Both are sorting—Yes, that’s a good instinct. No, that’s not who I want to be. The question is, what sorting mechanism are you using? Which authentic self should you look more like?
This is where the Bible offers clarity while the world ostensibly shrugs its shoulders while quietly judging. Jesus is your model. Your best self is the one that looks most like him.
This is amazing news because Jesus never changes. Jesus is outside of you, so your effort to grow will feel less like tying your shoes while running. And Jesus is a person, not a list of rules. Becoming your best authentic self by imitating Jesus gives you a pattern and direction, not a one size-fits all program. Most importantly, Jesus’ invitation is not to distant imitation, but a personal relationship where you can lose yourself. And “he who loses his life (identity) will find it” (Matthew 16:25).
[1] https://hubertjewelry.com/humanitys-favorite-colors/
Bonus related: How To Be Authentic
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